Drives me bananas when I read headlines like this: "The easy way to quit smoking"...
There is no easy way to quit smoking, unless you are one of those who sees the light, are completely ready to let go, and will not look back once you quit.
How many smokers are at this stage? Not many, maybe close to zero.
Quitting was not the easiest thing I've ever done, but I've plodded along and gotten through the worst of it. Often I felt hopelessly addicted even though I was not smoking. There was no easy way to quit, not for me... a lobotomy might have worked...
Today I am glad I stuck with it. I still have mental pangs as if something is not quite right. The addiction lingers, and yet, I never reminisce about waking up to smoke or hacking during the night. I never think fondly about how much fun it was to plop 44 bucks down for a carton of cigarettes every ten days at the local gas station, nor do I get a warm fuzzy feeling as I recall emptying the ashtray.
I just remember that one golden moment of having my smoke. Such is the power of smoking addiction.
Quitting is a deeply personal journey for almost everyone.
While it did help to watch quitters on youtube talk about there quitting, much of the time I had to be resourceful--I felt so not up to the task! Yet, I kept not smoking.
The willingness to quit is one thing, the sticktoitiveness is another. Honestly, I think I fell into quitting. Although, the one thing that did happen before I quit was a trigger moment.
The catalyst for this moment came about while I was figuring out if I had enough money to buy some piano supplies. It was morning and I was huddled over the kitchen table smoking, drinking coffee and adding up the cost of the supplies. By my figuring, it was not worth it to buy the parts (that was in Sept 2013). All settled. Budget wise, smart, eh?
That's when, for a split second, I understood my insanity. $148 a month to smoke, but the piano had to wait a year for $135 worth of parts.
That split second was my wing and prayer. After that I planned my quitting which was a process of tapering off over a period of two and a half weeks. During those weeks I practiced not picking up a smoke at times when I felt upset. I specifically made this effort because it seemed my weakest point...a place where my resolve might melt without an approach in place.
The quit date (when the last butt in the last pack of the carton on hand was smoked)drew near, I was smoking about 5 butts a day at that point...I could smell the environment around me better already...
But I was on high alert, and though I stuck to my quit date, I soon felt completely out of sorts, uncertain...dangling in mid air, no safety net...
I stuck with it not out of heroic can-do will power, but with an ever so tentative will to stick it out just a little more. Words that came from my mother so long ago came back to me; give it time. Mothers know best, eh? So I gave it time. That's what I do today, if I need to.
I have great empathy for those who smoke, still smoking. And for those just taking the first step. It's a tough one, but by no means impossible.
