To smoke or not to smoke is not the question

If I was in my right mind when I picked up my first cigarette at age seventeen, well I would not have gotten that far. And neither would most. But at Seventeen life is forever, or at least death is so very far away so that what I knew to be risky behavior just didn't matter. Sickness and suffering were scary stories to me at 17,  just something that may happen if I ever age.

Now I'm 58 and counting. Three and a half years ago I quit smoking--no longer young, not so resilient, weary of heroism and tired of big changes, still,  I gave quitting a second chance. It worked. But it cost me something to change, I lost an illusion of comfort and protection that as a smoker was very real to me. By choosing to quit for good (my best intention), I had to take the discomfort of quitting. That's when I discovered the deep roots of addiction--a bottomless pit of want. But my sincere commitment to quit, uttered when I was smoking, came back to test my addict mind...smoking was what I'd known for most of 37 years. In time, I discovered to my dismay that  there was no going back to my comforting illusion. I had to forge on to see what lay ahead! Lord, did I miss my happy delusion, my smokes, the whole shebang. Couldn't I smoke and quit at the same time, I joked.

 I have to admit that I did not just lose the comfort of a pleasant delusion, I gained something, too, though slowly and very grudgingly at first: an inner strength--something that is innate to most at birth--the ability to learn something new, to adjust, grow and adapt day to day. To that end, inner strength in trade for a delusion? I know I made out O.K. I made it past the addiction.

Here's to another 3.5 years of smobriety. "Eternal vigilance" and willingness to grow are always on my quitting to do list.

Goodness Alert: Not every investment adviser believes in steady-eddie Tobacco

Some investors think investing in tobacco is swell, not this guy...


The link below will bring you to Canada's business news channel BNN and to a video clip of this financial adviser's opinion of the tobacco industry...
Score one for truth!


http://www.bnn.ca/market-call-tonight/david-baskin-discusses-philip-morris-vs-altria-group~1028558

Checking in on the quit over three years later...

Quitter Version 3.3

Three years and three months that is. Age 58 now. 

Well I made it through some pretty tough quit-smoking mental tangles, and am still quit as of today, January 4 2017. The better for it of course. 

But the start of my cigarette quit was not glorious. It could have been with some other version of me (maybe my younger self--20 something) taking the journey. But, I had to quit with the version that was available back in 2013. I could not wait until I was entirely sure that I would quit, or until I was entirely happy about quitting. I had to grab the willingness that came out of the blue one day in September of that year and run with it. And so I did.

Nicotine addiction is a puzzling addiction. I've heard many  say that they just can't stop (some of these folks have serious heart or lung trouble). It isn't the kind of addiction that leaves you plastered as with alcohol or other drugs--so that once you sober up, you realize how overtaken you were by the stuff.  Nicotine works different than that.  It co-opts your person, while at the same time allowing you to stay conscious and even alert. It's kinda like those science fiction tales in which an alien attaches itself to the spine of an individual...and she has no idea of the danger lurking within.

You really discover how you've been preyed upon once you try to quit. Then the evil nature of the alien comes to the forefront making quitting seem like a horror rather than a rescue from horror.

Some may argue that the smoker understands the danger. I argue the opposite; most smokers begin smoking by the age of 18, and have hardly had enough life experience to understand what addiction really means, and so they are overtaken by a force far greater than they can understand. By the time the smoker really wants to quit, the addiction has blossomed and grown in a most grotesque way.

No one deserves this addiction. Maybe, someday society will finally do the right thing and ban the sale of tobacco, leaving it up to the individual alone to grow, dry and smoke the stuff herself, though never allowed to sell it. 

I made it--as of today--but how I wish all smokers would find their way to quitting.

Quit Smoking Youtube Channel

Welp, I've created a Youtube channel (Marlboro Country is no place to settle in)  loaded with  video playlists--all topics are relevant to the  tobacco industry and quitting smoking cigarettes. See link below. 

 Especially for new quitters there are two extra important playlists; success stories and encouragement.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA1gA4GwZ-ZD84pwMC8MJeQ

Have a lookey. Quitting is doable. Recovery is doable one day at a time.

With this sign, I couldn't see the truth with binoculars so I added some myself

"Stealing the Cigarette Scene"

I've added a bit of truth to this scene (shot in my locale just the other day) and also added a bit of truthiness,  as the scene was lacking something... 

It's my first stab at an art project which I will call for now "Stealing the Cigarette Scene."  So many creative possibilities.

Marlboro Country is no place to settle in

After watching Robert Proctor's lecture on youtube (see below), I stumbled upon a clear example of a point he made about today's tobacco advertising. He talked about how cigarette cubicles are bright, -- purposefully designed that way and that even the placement of the advertising and location of the surgeon generals' warning is placed carefully...

Indeed. Not long after the lecture, I was at the grocery store and noticed the surgeon general's warning was located at the top of the curve of Marlboro Country. Not surprising, but by gawd, he was right.

This important lecture has little over 2200 views--published in 2013. 

As I've blogged before, quitting smoking (never mind abolition of tobacco-though not private use) is a very unpopular. 

Huh, I wonder why? Could it be that in Marlboro Country there is no equal time for the truth?

Please watch this hour long lecture. You'll be saying, "Gawd, I didn't know that."

Robert Proctor: Origins of the Cigarette Catastrophe and the Case for Abolition (lecture)

Published on May 22, 2013

On Friday, March 29, 2013, Dr. Robert Proctor spoke to the Johns Hopkins community about cigarettes or "the deadliest artifact in the history of human civilization," and the cause for their abolition. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olnd4axewqc&index=87&list=WL

Dear Me; The letter I hated to write

As a way to shore up one's smoking cessation...

many quit smoking programs suggest writing a letter to oneself before quitting. So did NH Quits state site, my alma mater. I followed the suggestion reluctantly but I felt so stupid writing a letter to myself. Maybe the contents of the letter did not make a difference to my quitting cigarettes, but perhaps the willingness did. 

Below is a copy of that letter written almost three years ago...

No holy grail here, eh? But all the same, I quit and I got better. 
The adventure is still on.

Quitting cigarettes: not the most popular of topics

Smoking is an addiction, 

not a bad habit

I've watched and am posting yet another great Youtube video covering the true nature of cigarette addiction; this one covers how very important it is to the tobacco kings to catch the young. 

It was posted about four years ago, and  as of Sept. 7 2016  it has a meager total of 11,737 views. 

Suffice it to say, quitting cigarettes is not a highly 

popular topic. But, of course it should be.

Get 'em Young and Train 'em Right", Lecture by Dr. Robert Jackler

Quit Smoking Movie Night

Movie night at the Quit Smoking Lodge

This three part documentary on smoking and the tobacco industry  (moderated by Walter Cronkite) is an eye opener.

I'm  posting both episodes here as a movie night suggestion. I've watched the first, and will watch the second tonight.

Tobacco Wars - Episode One - Lighting Up

Tobacco Wars - Episode Two - Smokescreen

         

Tobacco wars - Episode Three - Smoked Out

Once upon a journey

The road to quitting cigarettes (a vlog about a special place and a few thoughts about addiction and quitting)

Portrait of Smoking

I Remember

This montage includes notes and records of my smoking history for over 10 years. I started counting my daily smokes when I ended up in an emergency room coughing up a lot of stuff from my lungs in Jan 2003. The doctor listened to my lungs, asked the inevitable question; Do you smoke? I said yes. He said,"You will have emphysema if you do not quit." I said nothing. But I remembered.

I quit October 2 2013...so it took about ten years from that moment in front of the doc in the emergency room to the moment that I, as it turned out, would say goodbye to the cigarettes.

I tried once in 2009 on the spur of the moment. Even bought nicorette gum. I lasted 12 hours.

I keep these quit records as reminders of my smoking life.

Moments to quit cigarettes for





























I took this pic in 2013 of a field of flowers near my house. It was along a busy route I often traveled and still do today. This particular day I was in a dense mental fog-- nearing my quit date, feeling the squeeze and feeling beyond uptight. Still, I was caught by surprise to see a crowd of thriving sunflowers by the side of the road as I drove along the highway. I had to stop. They called. (Others stopped too). After gazing and taking a few pics, I then went on my way back into the fog of quitting. 


Every now and then, I reflect on the sunflowers that charmed me into stopping.  My rear view mirror tells me  I was lucky to quit, lucky to catch the sunflowers singing when I could not.